Dating Story: I Semi-date the Gay Guy Who I Thought Was a Serial Killer

By Grace Tzeng

*For the sake of privacy, I changed the man's name to Romeo.

When I first met Romeo, I thought he was straight.  He was about 

5’ 7” and nearly 50 lbs. overweight.  He spoke with a low husky voice and he had a deep, hearty laugh.  He was funny, but he wasn’t my type physically.  

During the first week we met, I thought Romeo was flirting when he spoke to me in Mandarin with the few words that he learned from a friend.  Although Romeo was not Chinese and I’m not fluent in Mandarin, I still understood him.

Shutterstock.  This is not Romeo.

He also sang to me with a song that had my name in the lyrics.  And I thought how romantic – he’s serenading me.  This guy likes me.  He wants me. 

As we talked, he found out that

Depeche Mode was one of my favorite bands and it was one of his also.  So when Romeo asked me out to a Depeche Mode concert, I thought, aha – I was right.  He’s interested in dating me.  Concert tickets ran from $50 to $70 per person at that time.  We paid separately; and that was fine.

It was a warm evening when we went out for dinner at a Mexican restaurant before the show.  I was happy that he thought I was hot or attractive.  Little did I know he probably had the hots for the waiter instead of me.  

Unfortunately we were late.  When we got to the coliseum, I could hear music from outside.  Romeo started running and left me behind.  Let me tell you, I was thinking this guy has some nerve not waiting for me.  He’s losing brownie points if he wants to be my potential boyfriend. 

But I enjoyed the music and I had a good time.  On the way home we joked and laughed; and I felt really comfortable with him. 

In the following weeks or months we had gone out several times.  He wasn’t handsome, so I was going back and forth about whether I could see beyond his looks and grow to fall in love with him. 

Then one evening he and I were standing outside of my house next to his car.  Romeo said to me in a distraught tone of voice, “I like you, but … it would be great for us to run to each other on the beach like regular people.  And there would be violin music playing.  But it could never be.”

And I thought, poor guy, he doesn’t want to get hurt; so he’s trying to distance himself from me.  He tried to explain further, but I was confused.

So he said, “Let’s get in my car.  We can talk while I’m driving.”

 

For twenty minutes Romeo drove down a dark freeway with trees and hills all around.  Deer have been known to run out onto the deserted freeway around 2 a.m.  He looked worried, not quite like himself – and that made me anxious. 

He cautiously said, “Grace, there were some things in my past that I have done that will shock you.”  He took out a cigarette and lit up.  After he inhaled, he blew the smoke out the car window.  I think he was smoking because he was nervous. 

“You know how some people punch people and that’s considered bad?  I’ve done things and other people consider it wrong,” he said.

Romeo’s face got serious and he was fidgeting. 

Re-enactment of what was on my mind.  Photo by my brother Richard Tzeng.

I froze.  I thought oh no – he killed someone or tried to kill someone.  And he’s gonna kill me now.  Where is he driving me to?  It’s so dark on this damn freeway.  Darn – did I tell my parents that Romeo was driving me somewhere tonight?  Oh my God.  This is how I’m gonna die!

I looked at the door handle.  Okay, if I open the door and jump out of the car, I may break an arm or leg, but I may survive the 60-miles-an-hour fall. 

I pleaded with him and said, “Tell me.  It’s okay.  You can tell me.”  But inside I didn’t really want to know that he killed or attempted to kill someone. 

Then after his hesitant speech, he finally blurted out, “I’m gay.” 

I burst out laughing.  I thought he was joking.  “No, you’re not,” I said.  “Seriously, what is it you want to tell me?” 

And he said, “Really, I’m gay, Grace.”

I was half relieved and half confused, relieved that he wasn’t Mr. Serial Killer, but totally dumbfounded.  “You can’t be,” I said with total shock, “you smoke, you drink beer, you watch football and baseball.  And you have a deep voice.  You don't look gay.”  He was as masculine as they come. 

I told him that he confused me, because I thought he was straight.  “Why did you ask me out then?” 

Romeo said, “I thought you were a cool person who also liked Depeche Mode.  I didn’t want to go to a concert alone.  But I didn’t want to lead you on, having you think that I was straight in case you were falling for me.” 

After the initial shock, bewilderment, and denial had wore off after a week or more, I was able to see Romeo as a very masculine girlfriend who sometimes had a five o’clock shadow. 

And my semi-date with a gay guy led to a memorable friendship for about six or seven years.  

Do you have any fun or shocking stories you’d like to share?