By Grace Tzeng
*All names in this story have been changed to protect the privacy of those involved.
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| Shutterstock |
This is the continuation of a two-part series. Part one of my friend P.I.’s story was called P. I. And The Missing Jewelry. The previous story dealt with how tormented he felt about a decision he had made concerning a woman he had met at a musical. This is another one of his dating stories I’d like to share with you.
For those who haven’t read the first part, P.I. is an Asian male in his late thirties who lives on one of the Pacific Islands.
Although he has read relationship books, my friend admits that he's shy, and that it takes effort and confidence to talk to women. For two to three years he joined Match.com and eHarmony, doing both online services for months at a time. He would quit for a few months and then start back up again. Eventually he gave up on those sites.
While he was on eHarmony, he met Miss Rottweiler/Pit Bull. She was a heavy set woman in her late twenties or early thirties, who was half Japanese and half Korean.
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| Pit Bull From FinallyCreative.com |
On one of the dates he picked up Miss Rottweiler/Pit Bull and was startled by three huge Rottweilers barking at him.
P.I. said “She likes big dogs so she has this big attitude. The two dates wasn’t what I expected.” It didn't help that P.I. had a German shepherd that bit him when he was younger; hearing and seeing her huge pets brought back the trauma for him.
During the dates that they went on, he discovered that she was outspoken and strongly opinionated.
Unfortunately, he wasn’t attracted to her because of her forwardness and need to control situations.
P.I. admitted, “I don’t want to be dominated by a woman. I didn’t want her to be the boss. It’s like having my mom boss me around. I don’t want her to be like my mom. That turned me off.”
After a few dates P.I. decided to stop seeing Miss Rottweiler/Pit Bull. When he had told her his decision, her face grew red and she was upset. The date she had planned for a romantic evening stroll on the beach after dinner was ruined.
When I heard that she had planned a date, I found it kind of odd. Usually guys plan out dates; at least that's what it's like in the movies. So I understood what he meant by her being dominant.
With regards to P.I., I hope that he finds someone who is compatible, who will give him balance in the relationship. He wants a woman who will let him “wear the pants” and be a decision maker once in a while.
His story made me think of who takes control in relationships. It’s best that the two people in the relationship have an equal say. It may be tough to achieve a perfect fifty fifty balance, but I think it would be good to get as close as possible. Perhaps one person can make the decisions 60 % of the time and the other 40% of the time, not 10% and 90%.
Sometimes it’s okay to have one person leading one day. Then another day, the other person can lead and make decisions. It’s healthy to take turns instead of one person dictating what kind of food to eat and where to go for the whole relationship. Both people need to have their needs met.
Have you ever been with someone very controlling like Miss Rottweiler/Pit Bull? How did you end up handling the situation?
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